How do you tell a Canadian from an American?
It used to be enough to ask
him to say the alphabet. When the Canadian got to the end, he'd say "zed"
instead of "zee". But 18 years of Sesame Street have taught a lot of Canadian
kids to say "zee," and it's starting to sound as natural as it does south of the
49th parallel.
Another test used to be the word "lieutenant". Canadians
pronounced it in the British was, "leftenant", while Americans say "lootenant".
But American cop shows and army shows and movies have eroded that difference,
too.
Canadians have been adopting American spelling as well. They used to
put a "u" in words like labour. The main organization in the country, the
equivalent of the AFL-CIO, is still officially called the Canadian Labour
Congress. But news organizations have been wiping out that distinction by
adopting American spelling, mostly to make it easier to use news copy from such
agencies as Associated Press without a lot of changes. So it's "Canadian Labor
Congress" when the Canadian Press, the national news agency, writes about
it.
Some pronunciations, considered true tests of Canadians, are not as
reliable as they're thought. Take the word "house" for example. When some
Canadians say it, it sounds very Scottish in American ears. Visiting Americans
trying to reproduce what they hear usually give the Canadian pronunciation as
"hoose".
The same for "out" and "about". The way some Canadians say them
sounds like "oot" and "aboot" to many Americans. And when an American says
"house" to a Canadian, the Canadian often hears a bit of an "ay" in it,
something like "hayouse".
But pronunctiaiton isn't a good test because
people from different parts of Canada speak differently. A resident of the
Western province of Alberta, where there has been a considerable inflow of
settlers from the United States, may sound like a Montanan or a
Dakotan.
Then there's the ubiquitous Canadian expression "eh?" -
pronounced "ay?" This is a better test because many Canadians tack it on to the
end of every assertion to turn it into a question.
" English language "
The English Language:
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have
trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the
eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the
pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were
not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we
examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing
rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is
teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher
taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats
vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at
a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on
parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a
house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By
filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented
by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human
race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars
are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are
invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when
I wind up this observation,
It ends.